'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
