What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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