He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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