i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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