who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
