no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
honey bunches of taint.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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