I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Randomize
