HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
