ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
