This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
