i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
