you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
