i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize