haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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