oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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