You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
