the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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