So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
