3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
