also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
