Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
