I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
