you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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