miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
