I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Boobs are out for the taking
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
