Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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