She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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