Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
