Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
