Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
