am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
