Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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