I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What a dumb baby whore.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
