Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
