Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
