we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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