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I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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