So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
