I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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