all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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