So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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