Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
