what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
