Kareoke will never be a sober sport
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
