with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
