she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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