is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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