he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
