And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
