whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
