I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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