i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
