And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
