Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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