Sponge bath it is.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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