just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
