You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
