I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
