so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize