Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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