Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
