i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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