the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
