"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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