I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
