i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
