we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
