I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
