I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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