you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm really busy with my period
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